#He's a phd after all

[pomeraniandancer]

I'm not sure what they mean by "knowing the recipe by number." Do they mean the measurements of ingredients?

Also, sometimes I change the way I write something because I think it looks cooler another way. When I was 8 I changed significant aspects of how I wrote in print because I thought the way a friend wrote was really cool.

I changed the way I wrote 7s because I liked the way a fellow ASL club member wrote them.

In my mid-twenties I changed the way I wrote lower-case a's to resemble alpha's because I thought they looked neat.

On the subject of recipes, it is a family dictum that we always allow the vanilla to overflow when measuring it out. My brother and I have never even considered questioning it, and it would be blasphemy to suggest we should.

humans are hauntingly beautiful.

Some days, most days really, I think about how we’ve drove ourselves to hell. And how we are so complicated, too complicated that things like hell and heaven shouldnt matter but yet they do.

Then once in a blue moon, the same reasons look at me and suddenly it just twists cause what else could something be but extraordinary if so many people can have such faith and if each of my feelings and the way i feel can be a memory and we feel a different way, you and me.

i could never stop talking about it.

ever.

do you get what im trying to say?

Its that theres so many possibilities?

and I write my 7s the way my old yr 4 teacher used to, and that i dont know the recipe by number but taste from my mum?

and that holy shit theres a world out there

[randomnameless]

Why do the FEH devs insist on ignoring Nabatean lore so much?

I recently had a surprisingly cordial discussion on redshit with someone about the "nabateans = colonisers" take, and one of the main points raised was that the game was purposedly foggy around Nabateans/Sothis/their story because it would obviously favor a certain narrative (and thus make another narrative look, uh, not that marketable anymore).

To be honest, we still ended up with a product that had a lead go "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and yet that lead is still marketable enough to have raunchy cipher cards and 5 FEH alts, so I actually wonder if, while pissing on that lore had that purpose, it was ultimately pointless since Supreme Leader can still sell goodies despite her incarnation in FE16.

And not only Supreme Leader - but the entirety of WC where we basically have 70% of the cast crying/complaining about their "mixed blood" or lack of and basically adding their 10 cents to the "this race and its blood is the reason why the world sucks".

I mean, can you imagine Sylvain selling any goodies and alts if Flayn replied to his "wah wah people only are kind to me and want to fuck me because I have Nabatean blood :(" by some uncharacteristic "good for you, I have to hide my ears, had to dye my hair, have to lie about my family because if the truth is found out about my identity, I will be hunted and vivisected like an animal and harvested for parts by people who call my kin abominations - just like what happens in the game where the same people who call my kin "abominations" ally with a classmate who calls me a creature and pretends I am incapable of human feelings based on my race".

FE Fodlan's main selling point is its cast of students, for various reasons, but even if I tried to kid myself, Nopes and FEH made it clears : students are the main selling point.

If you spare more time and attention to the Nabatean plot/lore, the students either grow from "likeable" to "despicable" or worse, you won't gaf about them because yeah sure, Hilda might be upset because people expect things from her due to her crust, but it would feel like a "peanut" compared to Seteth's irrational (granted, it's not so irrational since GW exists) fear that Flayn's newest friends would dissect her if they learnt she was a Nabatean, and being conflicted by finally letting her have human friends and form bonds she crave, or protect her due to the trauma from the genocide of their species.

Don't get me wrong, I love peanuts, I mean, not everyone can have a tragik of loaded backstory!

And yet, given how this verse's DNA is "can you fight against the red emperor who uwus about you", they had to add copious amounts of Earl Grey to their games so there's no clear-cut factions :

The "Your alien blood and its influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command" vs "I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"

is turned to :

"Your alien blood Crests and its your church's influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command"

"I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"

Sprinkle with the cast's hammering here and there that the "reforms" might be needed - but never develop on what they are - and add a few baseless and groundless takes as a toping (basically everything Claude says about tolerance and the general "isolationism/foreign policy" stuff) and you get FE Fodlan where the Red Emperor's war isn't seen as the catastrophe it is in the other entries from the series!

Now, for FEH...

FWIW, the F!F!Billy's trailer had them try to explain that Sothis was a bit pissed about her slaughtered/massacred children when Nopes never gave any reason about why she was pissed - maybe on Billy's behalf bcs Jerry's dead, but come on, she would indeed deserve the medal of the worst parent in the franchise if that was the case, since Billy can murder her daughter without Sothis taking over ! - but given that they cannot write/go against the source game those characters are from.

They tried a bit, with B!Supreme Leader and Hegemongard's FB, but then it stopped (because she had no "new unit" released since then lol) and I can understand why : Hegemongard came out before the Supreme Emblem, and Hegemongard hates dragons who are seen/perceived as gods by some of their human followers. Come FE17, and now Supreme Emblem accepts Alear because they are "one of the good ones". We can come up with HCs and details and talk about what are emblems or if Hegemongard's views were only hers at the end of AM all day long... But imo, Doylist wise, it still feels it's a retcon because the devs from the main games tried to scrap and remove the most "controversial" traits she had.

For the other characters... Well, you see what Marianne is in FEH (but even in her base games), she's one of the few characters who reacts - in a way - to the partial history about relics and demonic beasts and all... only to give sad uwus to Maurice.

FE16 (and Nopes) refused to have any "student" character react to the Nabatean lore/reveal, about what are relics and all. There are no lines, Claude shared some knowledge in the explore section of VW's last chapter, but we don't have anyone muse or think or even talk about what are relics, what are crests, and what kind of fuckery their ancestors or the ancient humans of Fodlan did.

With that in mind, FEH can't do much : either they write Marianne in a retcon-y way like what happened for Hegemongard (and they're not afraid to piss on characterisation, look at Lyon!), or they flanderise her "character" and develop her around 3 lines she had in the game in her paralogue, and continue to give sad uwus about Momo when he was at best a guy who slaughtered and murdered so much that he abused the Nabatean turned into a relic to the point where he turned in a demonic beast even if he had a matching crest, or at worst, had been part of Nemesis's piñata party in Zanado and was something of a genocider.

Tldr :

Why FE Fodlan never gaf about Nabateans : earl grey + the marketable cast has to stay marketable and you can't sell peanuts at the same price you'd sell swordfish

Why FEH dgaf about Nabatean lore : they can't afford to retcon characters + they have to sell peanut alts with the same seasoning they had in their base game.

For what it's worth though, I think FEH is more daring than the base game(s) given how they gave more lines and screentime to Rhea - through her different alts - than GW. And they even designed her Halloween!alt's lines to piss on some of Claude's assertions, while the various FB involving members of the church also - indirectly - reply to some accusations thrown their way in FE16 when, FE16, never gave them an opportunity or lines to explain that those takes were full of dung.

*"but random, maybe she doesn't know that the crests she often decries is "dragon blood"!"

It's highly debatable, especially given what she and Hubert throw to Billy in CF - but even if she doesn't, Doylist wise we still have a character who, knowingly or not, says "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and who is never called out on her prejudice. That's more of an issue regarding the general writing though, she has to be a red emperor and took pages from Ashnard's book, and yet, the player must still feel bad and want to romance her, so her mindest/goal cannot be looked at too closely, because, I guess, even the devs thought it would be difficult to romance her (thus sell goodies!) if more light was shed on the "blood from this race corrupts our people" schtick -> which in turn would also make characters whose backstory and gimmick rely on "crying about crests" be way less likeable, thus marketable and able to sell goodies.

[venti-death-watch]

with all his phds and all you can pretty much make dr ratio whatever you want and i know everyone does physics/math/medicine in some form and all, but that man is so fucking history humanities coded it’s like… embarrassing to see

[deconstructthesoup]

I know that the overlap is probably razor thin, but I need those in the overlap to imagine the insane potential that a DBD Midnight Burger AU could bring

[leupagus]

Beard and Nate: friends to enemies to God I hope they get to be friends again

One thing I found interesting about this episode is Beard and Jane's axe-throwing date with the bespoke Nate Crotch Targets. Leaving aside Beard's 17 axes, which he cannot imagine having in a different country (and I do love that at some point between probably season 1 and 2, when he and Ted decided to stay in the UK for the forseeable future instead of going home after those first four months, Beard had his axes shipped and has added to the pile since then. Also that Ted is aware of Beard's axe problem), the vitriol of that is something that's really narratively significant, I think. Because it speaks to the fact that Beard has not remotely forgiven Nate for what he did. And I think that says a lot about Beard as a person, and as a friend.

Beard and Ted have been friends for a long time — long before Wichita (remember, they were only there for one year) — and whatever their past may be, they have a loyalty to each other that is really remarkable. Yes, Beard came to the UK along with Ted; but Ted must have insisted on them as a package deal, and Beard would have a pretty nice salary from Richmond too, not to mention comparable company housing to Ted's pad. They're very close and comfortable talking about complicated, messy emotional stuff with each other — part of the reason the Diamond Dogs formed was because Ted and Beard's rapport began to expand to encompass Higgins and Nate. He sees those two as similar kinds of men, willing to honestly express their feelings and mutually support each other.

And then Nate starts to change.

Beard and Ted first clock it in the very first episode of season 2, in Nate's attitude toward Will (which I think is more Nate repeating the mistakes that his father made with him than Nate actively reveling in abuse — I have a whole BOOK I want to write about Lloyd and Nate's conversation in this past episode, I absolutely cried, don't look at me). Neither of them say anything, which I think would be a mistake if this was real life but in the show is meant to reflect the idea that "sometimes you can let people make mistakes and improve on their own, but sometimes you have to step in early." But Beard, throughout the season, watches Nate a little more carefully, and then when Nate really goes over the line with Colin, he finally steps in. Nate makes his public apology to Colin and things are seemingly fine — remember, Nate's awful comment to Will happens out of Beard's sight.

But Beard obviously doesn't stop watching Nate, because he figures out pretty much instantly that Nate was Trent's source for the story about Ted's panic attacks. Not only that, but the first thing Nate does when Beard sees him is to ask where Roy is, and then lie to him when Beard makes a pretty blatant comment about the article. Then later, when they're all talking with Roy about the Jamie & Keeley situation and Nate confesses about the kiss, Beard makes the flat "I'd be happy to punch you in the face" comment. Because from his perspective, Nate's done something absolutely awful and won't even admit to it, even though he'll readily admit to trying to kiss Keeley. (I'm not making any claims as to which one is "worse," but the show clearly wants to portray Nate talking to Trent as the bigger problem.) Then you have the fight between Nate and Ted (which Ted 10000% told Beard about, I cannot imagine a world where he didn't), the ripped sign, and Nate leaving the club to coach for Rupert Mannion.

As far as Beard can see, Nate took what Beard and Ted had given him — not the assistant coachship, but the camaraderie and trust — and used it to hurt Ted in the most cowardly way possible.

And I don't think Beard is right.

We still don't know exactly why or how Nate told Trent about the panic attacks (what I wouldn't give for THAT flashback), but I think the folks who assume he did it to advance his own career or at the behest of Rupert or something are way off. I think Nate's anger at Ted is a whole other essay, and this past episode has really made it clear how much it's tangled up in his expectations for himself as well as for his father-figures, but I don't think that it's something Beard has been able to understand. All he sees is the fallout from Nate and Ted's broken friendship, and the grief that caused Ted this past year. He's only seen the pain on one side and not the other.

So we have Beard celebrating Nate's departure from West Ham, despite (and maybe because of) the fact that Ted's already forgiven Nate. We see Beard slowly trusting Trent — who after all did write the article but who wasn't Ted's friend or confidante at the time and owed him absolutely nothing — but still willing to erect boundaries when he wants to (even if he pulls them down within 30 seconds). And what I hope we get in the next two episodes is Beard understanding Nate more and accepting that his friend still needs him.

And that his friend is Nate.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[everymeloneveryday]

chapter 162 page 18

[vermillioncrown]

stinkiest little scowl on the fattest little cheeks, dickolas + hair gel ain't comin' within one zip code of him anymore

[catinfroghat]

I started a literature course at the public library and there was the poshest women I've ever heard in my life there my eyes literally widened in disbelief at the way she was pronouncing some words omg...

[the-casbah-way]

i’ve talked before about the fact that i like imagining down then left kahmunrah having some fancy rich fashion designer husband, and originally i was going to have this come up in the fic for plot related reasons (and the husband was going to be napoleon because i thought that would be funny) but the reason i ended up taking it out is because i became more obsessed with the idea of kahmunrah and al meeting each other through octavius and ahkmenrah and then ending up having a thing together but i didn’t have space to leave it in the fic

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

Called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday and we spent an hour discussing what I was doing with my life 😭

[magentagalaxies]

update if you're anxiously awaiting the follow-up to my post from last night: i went to the open mic and performed one of my aubrey monologues!! tbh this performance was the best any of my aubrey performances have gone so far (tho to be fair that's a bit of a low bar. i don't mean to be self-deprecatting or discredit the people who have seen my performances so far and liked them, i'm mostly judging from how it feels to be performing which doesn't always line up with outside perceptions etc.)

idk if it's at a level yet where i'd want to post the video bc there were two main spots where i know my pacing could have been better, and also the audience barely laughed (which was fine bc there was barely anyone in the audience and they were spread out throughout the room and people tend to not laugh as frequently when they're by themselves) but that might make the audio seem weird

but as for positives: most of the people at the open mic had their notebooks/papers/phones/etc. with them bc they were trying out new material and had to check it as they went, which is a fine and normal thing to do, but it really made me stand out that i had my monologue completely memorized (which was very cool bc like. yes i've done the uncle reg monologue more than any other but i have revised some pieces so they were new, and i didn't even practice the monologue at all during the day leading up to the open mic! it's just in me!)

i still need to work on my physicality a bit more but wow this stage made such a difference. for one thing it's the first actual deliberate performance venue i've done aubrey at (i had three shitty classroom performances and one at a coffee shop which even tho it technically had a stage in the corner it clearly wasn't the main purpose of the room). and even more important it's a stage i've performed on so many times in a different context (with my improv troupe) that i felt more comfortable walking around and using the full space rather than standing still

interestingly even tho i was definitely an outlier in many ways compared to the other comedians (youngest performer, only performer who's not a cis man, potentially the only queer performer tho i can't be certain of that since i don't know some of the other comedians on that level) i actually really loved that contrast bc it brought more energy to my piece (and i have a high tolerance level for cishet men, especially in comedy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i am who i am).

surprisingly i was not the only "extra" comedian (as in, a comedian that requires things other than the bare essentials to perform their set) but that's just bc my favorite improv scene partner was also performing tonight and he did a whole bit that involved a candle, two lighters, and a tarp, which made my character-schtick seem average in comparison lmao

i'll probably do another one when i can (they're the first thursday of every month, i might be in toronto for july's show but i'll probably be around for august)

[tearfest]

mini life update in the tags bc i need somewhere 2 rant < 3

[squirrelwrangler]

Celebrimbor met mortals on each trip to Nargothrond. Some intentionally - specifically the dwarves. The months that he spent as guest in his Cousin Felagund’s halls were with the express purpose of furthering his knowledge of metallurgy and stone-masonry under the guidance of the dwarves, and it was more convenient and feasible to learn from the dwarves that worked and studied at Nargothrond than to travel to Belegost or Norgrod and plead for admittance. Learning from the dwarves at Menegroth was strictly out of the question. Cousin Finrod Felagund was an excellent teacher himself and had knowledge over a wider range of subjects than anyone else in Celebrimbor’s extended family - and most important of all, Finrod was one who loved to teach and share. Curufin’s son knew the value of a willing teacher and someone whose prodigious skills included the art of teaching. To fulfill ambitions for self-actualization, Celebrimbor needed Nargthrond. He needed to study there as much as possible and needed the exposure to as many wide and bright and new ideas as possible.

And because Nargothrond was a bustling city at the crossroads of Beleriand, center of its diplomatic web, and Cousin Felagund was so closely entwined with the Edain, there were mortals that were not dwarves that lived in Nargothrond. Or at least came for a few months or years to study and learn as Celebrimbor did. Of course, their studies did not overlap with his, or at least Celebrimbor was ignorant if they did. He could only pick out one or two strange figures in the crowds of the underground city that wore unfamiliar clothing and had bearded chins without the stunted height of the dwarves. Distant curiosities that did not interest him, though Cousin Felagund never tired of them.

Celebrimbor did not care, except to learn the word of greeting in Taliska - and only because Cousin Felagund used it himself with everyone regardless of race.

The Edain woman that shook Celebrimbor awake, sparing his book on trigonometric roof angles and calculations for domes and vaults from further damage via the puddle of drool forming beneath his open mouth, was no such mortal. But in his embarrassed and bleary flush at being roused from so mortifying a state, Celebrimbor honed in on her clothing and the brightness of her braided hair. Having only rumors of the Hadorim extolling their blond hair and height, he did not perceive the oddness of her fair features paired with Bëorian garments. Nor would he have known the subtleties of difference in Edain cultural dress, though he was cognizant enough to recognize the fine quality of the gems on her jewelry. That she wore several emeralds set in gold in both a necklace and bracelets did not strike the Noldor elf as unusual. That, at least, was the ignorance of a prince and not an elf.

“Find a bed or bench to sleep, if you are so tired to endanger the books,” the young woman said. “That’s one of Cousin Turgon’s that you’re drooling over, and Uncle will be sad if it is ruined.”

Sleep could not be blamed for the confusion that her words caused, though they were spoken in clear Sindarin with a northern accent. That a mortal would call their King Nóm by the appellation of Uncle was strange indeed. The woman left as Celembrimbor wiped the sleep (and drool) from his face. Her disappearance troubled him, as did her appearance, and Celebrimbor stood to chase after her. But exiting the room, he could not tell in which direction down the empty tunnel-like hallway that she had turned. He pondered the mystery and why the features of her face clung to his memory until he puzzled out that she had not been a mortal at all. Those gray eyes were as familiar as kin. Finwion gray, those eyes had been, even if their light lacked the glow of the Trees. Cousin Orodreth had a daughter, Finduilas. That must have been the identity of the mystery maiden.

For their second meeting, the maiden looked even less like an elven princess with flour streaked across her brow, a large apron covering her dress, and a white cap hiding most of her hair. She shoved a strange pastry of golden-brown pebbly dough into Celebrimbor’s hands and brusquely demanded that he take a bite of it. The intensity by which she observed his tentative and then enthusiastic mastications were that of a hunting hawk or scientist. Celebrimbor thought that she looked beautiful, though the aroma of food on his empty stomach was a strong influence. A princess clinically evaluating the sweetness and moisture of pastries did not strike him as unusual. Rumors placed Finduilas’s interests in other fields, those of music and horsemanship. But Cousin Finrod flitted from one hobby to another. She truly was beautiful. And this pastry was perfect. A second pastry was shoved into the famished elf’s waiting hands.

“Anárwen Aegnoriel,” she introduced herself as, and he was doomed.

[ruvviks]

now that i'm actually satisfied with her name and face claim i can finally start figuring out how to put briar into the clown brigade storyline properly

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...